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. to make that leap ... accepting you are responsible for your life and your choices. It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had taken up a permanent residence in my head fades. His cock fucking her blurs. Her squeals silence. All I see now is a picture of myself driving by his house looking for her car, checking his Instagram a million times, stalking her Facebook for any signs of them together. I finally only see myself and all the time I have wasted and I am embarrassed. My next move is I get in my car and just start driving ... to nowhere in particular. I jam my playlist and drive and drive and drive. My mind seems to clear with each passing mile. Somehow, by muscle memory I guess, I find myself in our driveway ... I mean his driveway.. "Rachel, you are beautiful. I'm Joe. I see to it that you have a safe and uneventful evening every night." "So nice to meet you Joe." Rachel liked him already."Joe, she needs to use the toilet before we get started. Can you undo her belt?" "Sure", and Joe produced one key and set the combination. He was fast and had it done in a moment. "Come on Rachel, to the promised land", Joe joked. He led her by the hand to a very small stall which was just behind a half of a wood wall. It afforded very minimal privacy. A chain and collar hung next to the toilet. Joe reached up and locked this sturdy collar over Rachel's ownership collar, attaching her to the wall. "Sorry girl, but it has to be this way. Let me know when you're done." Then Joe removed the bottom bar only. Rachel now knew why there were two keys. Only the bottom part was going to be coming off for bathroom breaks, Rachel sadly realized. When Rachel was done Joe came around the wall and looked at his watch. "Its only 4:10pm, still.
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